The Scientific Method says that a theory becomes a law when a repeated experiment keeps yielding the same results. With so many failed resolutions over the years, I think it’s justifiable that the Theory of Failed Resolutions has become law.
It’s not even that my resolutions are grand; I’ve even created steps and plans to accomplish goals. However, it’s a sucker punch to my self-esteem when I fail to even accomplish the first step…
Every January for the past few years, I’ve made resolutions to write more consistently, but every journal/blog I started just ended up becoming a dump for my annual mind-vomit on New Years. Even as I’m writing this post, there’s part of me that already believes it’s going to be another fruitless attempt in fulfilling my New Year’s resolution. It’s been 7 months since I’ve written in this blog and there’s a good chance that it’ll be 7 months before I write again.
Other failed resolutions I’ve had were exercising and eating healthier. It baffles me why I’m so adverse to things that are beneficial to me. Though all these things have gotten me out of depression countless times, I don’t know why I can’t seem to commit to them.
Perhaps this may all be a subconscious test of a theory that I might be a self-fulfilling anti-prophet (the opposite of whatever I say comes true, so if I have a negative outlook, positive things will happen). But more likely, I’m just hitting a lowpoint convergence of my biorhythms. My pessimism can also just be a byproduct of all the work/class stress and crap that’s been happening around the world these past few months.
I can drive myself crazy with all sorts of theories, but in the midst of all the speculation, I am glad that there is one Truth that I can hold on to.
“Then you will know the truth, and the Truth will set you free.” -John 8.32
“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.” – Romans 8:1-2
If Jesus has set me free from the law of sin and death, then I have the utmost confidence that He can set me free from my self-destructive cycles. By being under and sustained by His grace, I can have hope that things can change, no, that I WILL change.
So thats why, once again, I start off a New Year by renewing my vows to be holistically healthy and praying for the grace-driven discipline to be consistent with my exercise (physical, mental, and spiritual), in hopes that this year will be different.